‘Lost in your whole world’ is an arrangement that I have drawn from a collection of my open scores, written for House of Bedlam and workshopped during the summer. Myriad pieces could have been written or arranged from the resulting material that we recorded (which was both exciting and daunting!).

The open scores were focused around an ‘internal dialogue’. This asked each player to consider discomfort in performance; through playing; through listening and watching. In this arrangement, I have transcribed some of these internal dialogues, asking the trio to ‘re-enact’ the memories of the dialogues that took place during that workshop. I have also taken inspiration from a couple of our ‘tutti dialogues’ (where the decision making was less internalised) and ‘coded’ certain behaviours in each performer that caught my attention. The resulting score is somewhere between ‘open’ and ‘closed’ – I have given space for the trio to re-enact ‘internal dialogues’, but also provided transcriptions to help jog their memories.

In many ways, this is a path through the memories of our workshop over the summer. Over this path, I have written a speaking part. This part is a commentary on consent in composer-performer relationships, which flips halfway through to critique the act of coding behaviours to a performer’s body. This section is a personal protest against certain codes for my own body and contains stories of uncomfortable experiences I (or friends) have had as performers or audience members.

Lost in your whole world was premiered on 28 October 2022 at the RNCM concert hall by House of Bedlam.

This concert was recorded by the BBC and broadcast on 12 November 2022 during BBC Radio 3‘s New Music Show. An extract of this recording is below, taken from the middle of the piece.